BOB is asleep. At the foot of his bed his FATHER turns up. He is wearing a devil's costume.
FATHER: Good day to you Bob!
BOB shuffles and slowly wakes, sitting up in bed
FATHER: (aside) Lazy bugger - always was. Bob! Bob!
BOB: Bloody hell! Dad! What the...
FATHER: Oh don't worry, you're not getting a visitation from the other side - you're making me up, and I must say, I'm far from impressed by the outfit.
BOB: But Dad!
FATHER: Now shut up and listen, son. This nonsense Alice is spinning out - she's daft in the head that girl! Don't let her go ahead with it! You know what a bloody dreamer she is! It's her wish that I get buried in the garden, not mine. She was waffling on about it and I made the mistake of sort of agreeing with her...
BOB: You did? So how am I supposed/
FATHER: I sort of did - it was no more than an assenting grunt - but by that time it was too late to tell anyone any different, I died the next day!
BOB:/ to convince her otherwise?
FATHER: Anyway, if YOU'D visited the morning of my death like you were supposed to, I could have told you and you'd have saved yourself a whole load of trouble, now, wouldn't you?
BOB: But Dad!
FATHER: (Lights fading on FATHER so he eventually disappears) Ta ra my boy. Just remember - if I don't get buried in cosecrated ground, my spirit will walk the earth FOREVER. (sniggers)
BOB screams.
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